I want to know...

What inspires you? This is NOT a rhetorical question. The wheels in my mind are turning, and I want to know: what inspires you? So seriously, I'm waiting...

anonymous?

This is driving me crazy....I do not know who the anonymous commenter on my blog is? Care to uncover your mask?

Bruises and Geese

I bruise easily. VERY easily. In fact at this moment I have two nasty spots on my left leg and absolutely no idea where they came from. My Mom recently shared with me that when I was a child she worried about how easily I got hurt without feeling it happen. Other times I know exactly where the bruise comes from: close encounters with the stairs. I'm constantly tripping up and down the stairs.

This isn't rocket science but guess what: bruises are temporary. Hip Hip Hooray! Known or unknown cause a bruise will always heal. Same goes with the bruises life inflicts upon us. Sometimes we feel the blow and remember how it happened. Other times it shows up and we're left with 'where did THIS come from?!' Whatever the situation, just as God created an intricate body capable of renewing itself, he also designed the human soul for healing. But remember, healing implies that one must first feel the pain. Not suppress it, but feel it, and then move forward.

So what's with the geese you might ask? My graduate school campus is in a wooded area thirty minutes north of Chicago. With melting snow and heavy rains we now have good size ponds all over campus. The geese love it. One of my friends actually had to stop on the sidewalk to let them pass last week. My encounter with the geese came this morning as my friend and I were returning to class. We had just reached the top of a large set of stone steps (I made it safely to the top) and there to greet us were five large geese. It took us by surprise but we turned left and continued walking. We only made it a couple of feet before the piercing sound of an angry goose flying inches from our face jolted us backwards!! We laughed so hard!!

Feel the bruises, let them heal, then find yourself some 'geese'.

Hm.

Two things, rather unrelated. I seriously miss writing. I've always found such release in putting my thoughts on paper (or screen as the case may be). But apparently my fears that life would turn busier than ever come January 2007 were on target! It's frustrating just wondering when some free time to write will open up. Perhaps I should search out a free writing club for the summer? There's bound to be one in Chicago. I'd better hurry before the thoughtful writer in me is dried up from the overly stimulating effects of research papers.

In other thoughts, would you be happy with your life if you died today, or tomorrow? What would you leave behind? And what would be waiting for you? These are the questions on my mind the last few days. They've been sobering to say the least. I can't share all the details as I'm still thinking through them myself. Or maybe I'm not ever meant to share them but instead to get you thinking. So here's what I know: I want my life to count. I want my life to be different, unique, and special. Not because I am any of those things, but because my GOD is.

A Few Good Men

The Bible says that David was a man after God's own heart. I wonder what that looked like in real life. What charaterized David's daily life, his routines, his personality? Of others it's been said they were a friend of God. I'm privileged to know a man who fits both those descriptions. And yet, he is likely never to be publicly recognized, much less remembered by historians.

This morning I asked him how he's spending his time now that he is completely retired. His answer? 'With God, he's with me all the time'. I was blown away, not only with the answer, but the expression of relief and contentment on his face as he spoke. As if this were what he'd been waiting for all along. Sure, I talk about being with God in heaven with extreme anticipation to the point that I'm labeled strange. But this man speaks with the same excitement for NOW, here on earth.

I asked him, 'Well, what do you do all day? Do you pray, write, read the Bible?'. What does it look like to be with God all day? He said yes to all of the above and finished with 'He wants to be a part of everything we do'. You'd have to have heard his voice to know he was speaking of his best friend. I began thinking of ways to describe this man's relationship with God. And then I realized I couldn't really. I could perhaps define the relationship or give it characteristics. But the heart of such a deep relationship is just that, it's in the heart, and that cannot be explained. It can only be witnessed with wonder.

I wondered later if he ever felt lonely, or different, in trying to relate the journey of his favorite relationship to those of us Christians who are lagging behind and distracted. It must be frustrating at times.

I am challenged, humbled, hopeful, and reminded of my need when I see this man's life. I want to be a friend of God, a woman after his heart, one who says like Moses did, 'God, show me your face.'

Tired

Sometimes life is so exhausting it makes you want to cry. Well, it happens to me anyway. Especially lately.

That's it. I'm just worn out. And it shows no signs of stopping....